Why Sex-Positive Education Matters More Than Ever
By Loretta Goodling of Pennsylvania-based Excitement Adult Stores
Guest contributor
Editor’s note: This article has been refreshed for MyPleasure while preserving Loretta Goodling’s original perspective, experience, and sex-positive message.
It is never, ever too late to learn more about sex.
Those of us who work in the adult industry have a unique opportunity to advocate for sexual health, wellness, pleasure, and education in our everyday lives. That might happen while helping a customer choose a product, answering a question online, sharing educational information on social media, or simply having an honest conversation with friends or family.
The more comfortably we can talk about sexual wellness, the less mysterious and taboo it becomes.
I have always chosen to be open about where I work and what I do. I don't believe a career in the adult industry is something that needs to be hidden. Instead, I prefer to talk about why this work matters.
If I can educate one person, answer a question someone has been afraid to ask, or help someone discover more confidence and pleasure in their own body, then it's worth it to me.
Think About What You Were Actually Taught About Sex
Think back to your own sexual education.
When did you first hear the word "orgasm"? When did you learn about masturbation? Did anyone explain pleasure to you? Did you learn accurate terminology for your anatomy?
Did a parent or trusted adult have honest conversations with you, or was "the talk" mostly about pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and things you weren't supposed to do?
Now think about health class.
For many people, school-based sex education focused heavily on reproduction and risk while offering very little information about relationships, communication, consent, sexual orientation, gender identity, pleasure, or what healthy sexuality can look like throughout adulthood.
That educational gap is one reason I believe the adult industry can play such an important role.
Sex Education Shouldn't End When School Does
Sexual education isn't something we should receive once as teenagers and then somehow be expected to understand for the rest of our lives.
Our bodies change.
Relationships change.
Our interests change.
Our health changes.
Our understanding of sexuality changes.
And sometimes we simply realize there are things nobody ever taught us.
Comprehensive sex education should include accurate anatomy, consent, safer sex, communication, sexual orientation and gender identity, relationships, boundaries, and sexual health. I also believe there should be room for age-appropriate conversations about pleasure and understanding our bodies.
When people aren't getting answers from schools, families, healthcare professionals, or other trusted resources, where do they go?
Increasingly, they're looking for answers themselves.
And sometimes, they walk through the doors of an adult store.
Adult Stores Have Changed
I've worked in the adult industry for years, and I've watched it evolve dramatically.
For some people, the phrase "adult store" still brings up an outdated image: a dark shop, products hidden behind curtains, walls of adult movies, and shelves of mysterious toys nobody really explained.
Today's sexual wellness retail experience can look completely different.
Customers want to know:
What material is this made from?
How does it work?
Is it rechargeable?
Which lubricant should I use with it?
Is this appropriate for a beginner?
How do I clean it?
Can my partner and I use it together?
Is there something designed for the type of stimulation I enjoy?
Those aren't embarrassing questions.
They're good questions.
Modern pleasure shoppers are often doing research, comparing products, learning about their bodies, and looking for something that fits their individual needs.
That means retailers have an opportunity to provide something more valuable than a transaction.
We can provide education without judgment.
What Does Being Sex-Positive Actually Mean?
"Sex-positive" gets used frequently, but to me, it's about something fairly straightforward.
It's recognizing that consensual adult sexuality can take many forms and that people deserve accurate information, bodily autonomy, respect, and the ability to make informed decisions about their sexual lives.
Sex positivity doesn't mean that everyone needs to be sexually adventurous.
It doesn't mean everyone needs to use sex toys.
And it certainly doesn't mean everyone needs to enjoy the same things.
Someone can be adventurous, vanilla, kinky, celibate, partnered, single, monogamous, non-monogamous, LGBTQ+, heterosexual, questioning, or somewhere else entirely.
Sex positivity leaves room for individual choice.
Consent and respect are the foundation.
Pleasure Products Don't Need a Gender
One of the most encouraging changes I've seen in the industry is the movement toward more inclusive products and marketing.
For years, sex toys were divided into rigid categories of "for women" and "for men."
But bodies and sexuality aren't that simple.
A vibrator doesn't know someone's gender.
Neither does a wand, anal toy, stroker, harness, lubricant, or massage product.
What matters is how someone wants to use the product and whether it's appropriate and safe for that use.
That's why function-focused language can be so useful. Instead of assuming someone's gender, orientation, partner, or relationship structure, we can talk about anatomy and sensation.
Are you looking for external stimulation?
Internal stimulation?
Something for couples?
Something for solo use?
Something hands-free?
Something app-controlled?
Those questions help someone find the right product without requiring them to fit into somebody else's assumptions.
Representation Matters Too
Packaging and advertising send messages before a salesperson ever says a word.
If every box shows the same type of heterosexual couple with the same body types, shoppers who don't see themselves represented can understandably wonder whether the product, or even the store itself, is intended for them.
I love seeing more companies represent same-sex couples, different body types, different skin tones, and a broader range of people and relationships.
We're also seeing cleaner, more discreet packaging that focuses on product functionality rather than relying exclusively on sexualized imagery.
That's progress.
And the industry should continue pushing it forward.
Technology Is Changing the Conversation Again
Another major change is how technologically sophisticated pleasure products have become.
Rechargeable designs have largely replaced the battery-hungry toys many shoppers remember. Premium silicone and other body-safe materials have become increasingly common. There are now products offering multiple motors, customizable patterns, air-pressure or suction-style stimulation, heating features, remote controls, and sophisticated ergonomic designs.
Then there are app- and Bluetooth-connected toys.
These products have created entirely new possibilities for couples, including partners in long-distance relationships who want to share intimate experiences from different locations.
Technology has also helped make customization a bigger part of pleasure. Instead of assuming one setting works for everyone, many modern products allow people to experiment and discover what actually works for their bodies.
That fits perfectly with good sex education.
There isn't one "correct" way to experience pleasure.
The Adult Industry Can Be Part of Sexual Wellness
Adult retailers aren't doctors, therapists, or replacements for comprehensive sex education.
But we can be part of a much larger sexual wellness ecosystem.
We can help someone understand the difference between product materials.
We can explain why a flared base matters for an anal toy.
We can talk about lubricant compatibility.
We can help someone shopping for their first vibrator feel less intimidated.
We can direct customers toward reputable sexual-health resources when a question belongs with a healthcare professional rather than a retailer.
Most importantly, we can create an environment where asking a question about pleasure doesn't automatically come with embarrassment or shame.
I've seen what happens when someone realizes they can ask the question they've been carrying around for years and receive a straightforward answer without judgment.
Sometimes you can practically see the relief.
We Never Stop Learning
That's ultimately why I do what I do.
Sexual wellness education isn't only about products. It's about helping people better understand their bodies, desires, boundaries, partners, and choices.
The adult industry has changed enormously during my career, and it will continue changing.
We should change with it.
We should keep listening. Keep learning. Keep improving our language. Keep expanding representation. Keep asking whether our stores, products, websites, and educational materials make people feel welcome.
Because pleasure isn't reserved for one gender, orientation, relationship type, body, or generation.
And education shouldn't be either.
By Loretta Goodling
Excitement Adult Stores
Updated and edited for the MyPleasure community.
With Pleasure,
MyPleasure
