You and your partner have decided to add a little kink into your life, or maybe you just want to spice up the bedroom time a little bit. Whether you want to create your own Fifty Shades-style of fantasy or you just want to get a little creative with your intimate time, role-play can be wonderful. To make a good role-play session enjoyable, you have to have an idea that appeals to you and your partner and carry it out to the end. As you go along, you will find the things that work really well for you so that you can fine-tune your sessions together.

There are three things, however, that are must-haves for any role-play session. Whether you are in a new BDSM dynamic or are a couple looking to add something a little extra in the bedroom, these three things should be the basis for all of your role-play.

  • Communicate and plan. While your first forays into role-playing are probably going to be in the bed, whispering a quick scenario, if you want to have a complete beginning to end scene, you need to plan it. Talk to your partner about what the scene will involve, what will happen during the scene, and how it will end. Plan the details that will carry the scene along.

How much planning do you need? That depends on you and your scene. For most scenes, you just need a basic idea; you do not have to script it out and lay down little X marks on the floor. On the other hand, some people do enjoy scripting out a full scene, complete with the lines they will deliver. It is really a matter of preference, but communication and at least basic planning is necessary.

  • Get yourself in the mood. You simply have to take time to relax and get yourself into the mindset of the role you will play. If you are going to be a bombshell vixen prowling for an innocent young man, you will probably have a hard time getting into the role if you just had to put the baby to bed. Before you start your scene, take some time to unwind. Take a nice relaxing bath or shower. Play some mood music. If you have a costume, take some time to admire yourself in it. You can also take a few minutes to watch a few scenes or read a few passages of your favorite inspiration for your role.

Which brings me to:

  • Get Inspired.  This should be understood. Unfortunately, too often, we think how great it would be to be Leia with a sexier, hunkier Jabba – or at the very least, a Jabba that looks like our partners. What we fail to do before putting the fantasy into practice is to go back and watch the scenes that inspired the idea in the first place. Whether you are drawing a fantasy up from scratch or recreating another scene, have something that will help get you into the mood and inspire you. Do you want an office role-play scene? Do you want to role-play a scene about obsession? Re-watch Dangerous Liaisons. If you are looking for a hero/villainess scenario, check out the scenes between Michelle Pfeiffer and Michael Keaton in Batman Returns. You can also put in Exit to Eden if you are looking for general ideas. After all, the whole point of Mistress Lisa’s island was to help couples create fantasies, and they movie does a very good job of displaying many little snippets.

Whatever your role-play fantasy, make sure of two things. You and your partner should be on the same page with what will take place, and both of you should be comfortable. Second, you should both have fun. The point of role-play is for both of you to experience a different side of each other or to experience each other in a different way. Enjoy and open yourself to the increased intimacy that role-play can bring you.


With Pleasure,



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