Rubbing Your Lover the Right Way

Be clear on one thing: a back rub, while divine, is NOT a sensual massage. A back rub is powerful, short and effective at ridding your body of tension, aches and pains. Sensual massage is long, languorous and erotic, and involves a great deal of nudity and intimate touching. You give your mom a back rub. You give your lover a sensual massage.

Rubbing Your Lover the Right Way

If you've never given one of these wonderfully erotic massages, never fear. Our simple, step-by-step instructions will leave you feeling and acting like an experienced sensual masseuse or masseur.

You'll Need
Make sure you have the following items on hand:

  • Candles and/or incense
  • Clean towels
  • Clean flat sheet
  • Massage oil
Before You Begin 
Before you start rubbing your honey, take a moment to set the mood:
  • Lock the door and turn off your cell phone. You want quiet.
  • Prepare your massage surface, whether it's a professional massage table or a bed. Provide rolled towels for a neck and knee rest.
  • Since massage oils stain most fabrics, spread an old (but clean!) flat sheet over your massage surface.
  • Illuminate the room with sensual lighting. Turn off glaring overhead lights and drape sheer fabric over floor lamps. Light candles.
  • Make sure the room smells good: use scented candles, incense or room freshener.
  • Keep cool water nearby for quick hydration.
Talk to your partner about your upcoming experience. Make sure he or she understands the difference between traditional and sensual massage -- if she's expecting the former, an erotic massage might be quite unwelcome!

Start by connecting with your partner. This will vary from couple to couple, so follow your instincts. You might kiss his or her face, lightly touch his or her body, or gaze into one another's eyes. When you both feel connected, invite your partner to lie face down on the massage table or bed, and arrange pillows and towels to his or her liking.

Sensual Massage
Begin by lightly stroking your partner's body with the tips of your fingers. Start with the back, and then move to the shoulders, arms, buttocks, thighs and calves. Remember to use only light, teasing strokes. When you sense that your partner is relaxed (you might have to ask), you are ready to progress to massage.

  1. Pour about two tablespoons of massage oil into the palm of your hand, and rub your hands together lightly. When the oil is warm and evenly distributed, begin massaging your partner's back with long, deep strokes.
  2. At the beginning, communicate frequently with your partner to determine if the strokes are too hard or too soft. Keep your hands in contact with your partner at all times, take your time with each rhythmic-yet-sensitive stroke, and proceed from long, gliding strokes to shorter, deeper strokes.
  3. Use your body weight rather than your arm strength for deep strokes; during gliding strokes, keep your knees slightly bent and fluid, and don't lean over the table.
  4. Once you have developed a rhythm that pleases both of you, move on to the shoulders and arms, and progress to the legs and feet, brushing the buttocks as you move up and down your partner's body.
  5. Ask your partner to turn over. Begin massaging the chest, arms and hands. Pay special attention to your female partner's breasts: don't be too invasive at this stage, but don't ignore them. Lightly stroke the nipples and undersides.
  6. Glide down to the legs, brushing the genitals on your way down. After finishing the fronts of the legs and feet, glide back up and slowly brush over the genitals. Tease your partner by brushing his or her inner thighs near the genitals, and very lightly touching the pubic region.
  7. Allow the erotic energy to build until it seems like a natural time to start shifting the focus to more explicitly sexual activities.

Genital Massage

Look into your partner's eyes as you begin touching his or her genitals. Make sure the rapport you built at the beginning of the massage still exists; if it does not, try to reestablish it by slowing down and asking your partner a few questions about what he or she is experiencing. As you proceed with genital massage, remember to use your free hand to tease the rest of your partner's body.

Female Genital Massage
Start by gently rubbing the entire vulva, follow with clitoral stimulation, and finish with internal and clitoral stimulation -- don't forget the G-Spot! Remember that vaginal penetration usually doesn't feel good unless she is already in a fairly high state of arousal. If your partner is comfortable, feel free to use a vibrator to assist you in the massage.

Male Genital Massage

Begin by applying some lubricant to the palm of your hands and rubbing it gently into the penis and testicles. Male genital massage is guided by one main principle: slow down and stop or change what you are doing just before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Ask your partner to let you know if he is about to ejaculate, or develop a signal – verbal cues, raising a hand, pulling away slightly, or even subtle body language cues can all work well. It's usually best to vary strokes at the beginning and then concentrate on one or two kinds of strokes as the massage nears completion. By bringing your lover to the peak without allowing him to ejaculate, you prolong the massage and help your lover have a more intense orgasm.

Hold Each Other

After the massaging is finished and you are both relaxed, remember to spend some time together before falling asleep or running out the door. You have both just shared an extremely intimate experience. Hold each other, talk to each other, and enjoy the intimacy as long as you can. Be positive about the experience, especially if it was your first time. Remember, practice makes perfect!