Prostate & Masturbation
Four years after lung cancer, I'm a 45-year-old male at that age where men start worrying about prostate cancer. I like to masturbate, but my wife makes me feel shameful about it -- we don't have a great sex life, but I'm only trying to protect myself from further bouts of cancer. Do you have any advice?
ANSWERIt sounds like you are talking about three separate issues: 1) relationship difficulties 2) concerns about prostate problems, and 3) masturbation. I'll tackle them in order:
For your relationship difficulties, may I suggest you see a counselor or therapist to sort things out? Communication is key with every relationship, especially when it comes to sexuality. Tell your wife that she is important to you and that you would like your sex life together to improve. Seeing a therapist can help put you both back on the right track.
As far as your prostate concerns, it is important to keep annual appointments with your physician, whatever the state of your health. Urologists monitor male patients for prostate cancer through exam and blood work, so as long as you are attending to your health care, eating a healthy diet and engaging in exercise, you are probably taking care of yourself fairly well.
Finally, masturbation is a very common and natural thing to do -- no matter what reasons you may have for doing it. However, some people believe it is shameful or immoral. It really depends upon your belief system or how you feel about your wife's disapproval. If you wish to continue to engage in self-pleasuring, simply do it in private and keep it to yourself -- many people do not share this kind of information with their partners. The decision is up to you. You might also bring up this issue with the therapist you see.
Dr. Linda Mona, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in disability and sexuality issues and a disabled woman living with a mobility impairment.
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