Blog Phone Sex Tips

Question

Recently, my boyfriend was on an extended business trip during which he called me often. During one of these calls, he mentioned how horny he was and that he wanted to have phone sex with me. He started talking "dirty, which was great except that I had no idea how to respond. I wasn't sure what to say, what words to use, or how to say it. Could you give me some tips so that next time I will be better prepared. It was a lot of fun for both of us, but I want to do more on my end.

Answer

Phone sex can be a wonderful way for a couple who can't be together to share intimate time. It is great that your boyfriend felt comfortable enough with you to try this. Since it sounds like you both enjoyed it, here are a few suggestions for next time.

1) Remember that there is no right or wrong way to "talk dirty." That it appeals to you and your partner is all that matters.

2) Reminisce about a previous sexual experience the two of you had that you found particularly memorable.

3) Tell him what you would be doing to him right now if he was there with you and ask him what he would do to you if he he was there with you.

4) Share fantasies.

5) Pretend that he is there, and tell him what you are doing to his body and what he is doing to yours.

6) Describe what you are doing to yourself and how it feels.

7) Tell him what exactly you enjoy about having sex with him.

8) Masturbate together and just listen to the sounds of each other's breath.

If you are looking for more suggestions and ways to get started, you might want to pick up a copy of Exhibitionism for the Shy by Carol Queen. Much luck to you. And, remember, this is supposed to be fun, so don't make it a pressure-filled situation.

Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos